The Best Relationship Is When Yesterday`s Disagreement
December 18, 2020
About six months after a serious relationship with my friend, we began to experience great conflicts. We fought on small things, we dispelled the misunderstandings, we just couldn`t get on the same side of anything. That`s what got me thinking about relationship conflicts in general, what causes it and how I have to deal with it. Rather than seeing conflict as a threat to a relationship, what if we reformed that and saw conflict as an opportunity and a sign of growth in a relationship? Instead of making every little mole hill a mountain, you agree to do nothing, unless it`s really important. Recognize that not all disagreements should be an argument. Of course, this does not mean that you are complying with someone else`s requirements if it is something you feel strong, but take the time to question the importance of the thing. You probably want to get back on track and have a peaceful relationship. Also think about the feeling of attachment you want to feel. It`s hard to feel threatened by someone when you consider yourself connected and work on the same result. It is clear that relationship conflicts occur because expectations are not met. Each person enters into a relationship with certain expectations.
These are based on experiences of the past, childhood or as one thinks things should be. Of course, it is difficult to remember in the heat of the moment. But taking a few deep breaths and deciding to pause and repeat the discussion when the tensions are not so high can sometimes be the best way to deal with the immediate situation. Once you have both had the opportunity to share your site, consensually, agree to let it go. In the best case scenario, your discussion will end satisfactorily for both parties. If not, you can check it again later. Ask yourself how important it is to you in this decision. If you decide to leave it in the past, do your best to do so, instead of re-building it in future conflicts. Conflicts can be worrisome.
If you see it as an opportunity for growth, it can help you get closer and deepen your relationship. This requires understanding that conflicts will inevitably occur in a close relationship. The only way around it is not to share your opinion at all, which is not healthy. This does not mean that you should have low expectations, but it is to say that you should keep in mind that you may have other expectations. The best way to clarify this is to ask what another`s expectations are in a scenario. Automatically accept that you find yourself in this situation with the same expectations. “You can`t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” “Jon Kabat-Zinn Most of the time, your partner doesn`t intentionally try to hurt you and get hurt is a byproduct of this action.